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I'm a Sucker

In the end, it doesn't really matter what *I* think about what others are doing to their lives.  I honestly have a very unselfish motive for caring so much about everyone: I just want the best for people.  I like to see people happy.  I like when people are comfortable in their own skin.  I like when people can stand up for what they believe.

I've had an emotionally tough time accepting a lot of things over the past several years.  I've tried to fix family rifts, tried to make wrongs right, tried to repair broken hearts.  I've been through my share of personal problems, trying to still be a good wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend (to name just a few).  When people I care about hurt, I hurt.  I can't turn that off.

And I've come to learn that I don't want to turn that off.  It's what keeps me sane (there is a note of irony there).

We get one chance at life.  You never know when your time is up, so people, you damn well better make the most of it.  Sometimes it sucks, some days you can drive yourself batty with worry about everything.  It's easy to do, especially in these times of uncertainty (or should I say absolute uncertainty - Mrs. Steinberg, I think you'd be proud).

But today, it was 68 degrees and sunny (yah!).  I had fresh air flowing through my house.  And my youngest sister had a very healthy (very - as in 9 lbs 2 oz) baby boy.  My husband and children are all under my roof tonight, safe and sound.  I still have a job that I enjoy that also has great health benefits.  I live in an awesome neighborhood with lots of friends whom I trust.  Life could be so much worse.

A new life that affects mine was born tonight.  I have four kids...I'm obviously a sucker for babies.  I might not even be able to meet my nephew until Memorial Day, but I'm excited for them.  I'm hoping and hoping and hoping that everything turns out ok with that particular situation, but again, it's not my life.  It is all good tonight, and that's what matters for now.  My sister is doing well, embracing her new role as a mom with her (pretty awesome) boyfriend beside her, and I'll take that.  She knew what she was getting in to, and stuck by her decision.  They are young, but there is something in their maturity that tells me they just might be ok.  And I completely respect that.

Like I said, I'm a sucker.  Welcome to parenthood Abby and Blayne, and Brayden, I can't wait to meet you.


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