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April 08, 2009

Eviction Notice

Dear Wasp Colony Living SOMEWHERE in my House,

With all due respect, you are not welcome here.  Outside the house, I will tolerate you in very small doses, as long as you are a safe distance from my kids and do not build your nests on my property.  Inside my house, all bets are off.  You must leave.  You must find the way out of here quickly.  I have put up with enough of you at this point to know that our relationship must end promptly.  You have me right now, as I feel all buggy all the time.  Ickky.  Creepy crawly.

Why?  Because there you were.  With your evil, horrible body with all of its stripes and stinger perched upon things in my bathroom of all places.  I touch a towel to find, OMG, there you are!  I close the blinds to find, OMG, there you are!  I see the kleenex box and OMG, there you are!  Then how the hell did you find yourself (and some others) all the way downstairs?  I go to let the dog out, and OMG, there you are!  Not ok by a long shot.

YOU MUST LEAVE, my fellow living creatures.  You are very much not welcome inside my house where I must protect my own family.  Get the hell out.  Stop making me bring in people to put chemicals up my vents.  Stop giving me nightmares about being stung repeatedly, as I have those nightmares often enough on my own, thankyouverymuch.  Find somebody else to bother.  You have stung enough of us in the past and you are just not ever welcome INSIDE my house.

Please, GET THE F**K OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!


Me (who will do whatever the hell it takes to vacate you if I must)

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