The World According to Angela

What's the hardest part about having triplets? 

I've pondered this question many a time since learning I was expecting triplets in December of 2000.  The pregnancy was certainly very hard.  Mostly I claim that being pregnant with triplets is/was the hardest part.  It was hard both physically and mentally, so I suppose that is the right answer.  Your body is stretched beyond its usual capabilities, you are torn from being so miserable to knowing it's best for the babies so all you can do is be severely uncomfortable, and wait.  Yep, that had to be the hardest part.

Then I think, wow, the going back to work after 8 weeks was pretty darned hard, too.  The sleep deprivation, then the traveling husband and doing it all by myself when he was gone.  Being on call, working in the middle of the night while having three newborns.  Hmm, it wasn't easy.  But it's almost a blur now.  Ok, it must be the pregnancy that was the hardest.

And I remember the pumping.  I couldn't get any of them to latch on, so I was pumping around the clock every 4 hours for the entire first year.  Even at work.  I initiated a better 'lactation room' for the few of us doing it.  I got mastitis and more blockages than I could count.  I was wearing a 36I bra (I'm sure there are some of you very, ahem, thankful I shared that information).  When the babies began sleeping through the night, I still got up religiously to pump.  I had an emergency gallbladder surgery and that just about killed my supply, but I pumped every 2 hours until I got it back.  Wow, those were some tough times.  It was a long first year because of this more than anything else.  However, they never had to have formula and as a bonus, I saved all that money.  It felt like a huge accomplishment when it was over, and I was proud of myself for sticking with it when I thought I couldn't.  Sure, it must be the pregnancy that was the most difficult.

That first year, once the weather got warmer and RSV season was over, we started going out more with the babies.  It was like we were a circus act.  We would get stopped left and right and asked the most personal of questions.  Some people were rude and felt that we were irresponsible for having triplets.  Others would voice aloud their personal concerns that they would have killed themselves if it happened to them.  That got very stressful at times...after all, it was hard enough to get out with three babies, let alone have to manage other people's reactions and comments.  But with time, our responses just popped out without thought.  With more time, the kids weren't all the same size, and people didn't automatically connect 'triplets' with them.  Surely pregnancy was harsher than all of that.

As the kids got older, we had potty training to do, times 3.  Ah yes, fun times.  Then right when they got the hang of it, we moved into our new house.  Great timing.  We had to potty train them again!  This second time was even harder because they had already gotten it once, so how do you handle a major relapse?  But I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't a major hardship.  Not near as difficult as the pregnancy.

Ok, so what else is hard about having triplets?  Sharing your time between 3 eager minds?  Feeding all of them?  Laundry?  Answering questions continually?  Breaking up their sibling squabbles?  Adding surprise baby number 4 into the mix?  I don't know.  It's all challenging sometimes, but overall it's not all that bad.  I think for me, it's something more. 

I am a sap.  I know, I know...if you know me personally, this must come as a huge shock, ha ha.  And motherhood has intensified my emotions ten fold.  I have never known such joy as that my kids bring to me.  I have never known as much love as I've felt since becoming a mom.  I have never felt as connected to the universe before.  And now I feel so much more purpose in life.  Trans fats, global warming, hormones and chemicals in our food, terrorism...oh my!

What I can't quite put into words is what I now believe is the hardest: it's the emotional aspect.  Tuesday was the trio's last day of kindergarten.  What did I do after they climbed aboard the school bus?  I came in the house and cried, what else?  Not some hour long sob or anything, but still, I was overcome enough with emotion to have some tears fall.  And it wasn't because now they will home all day long, every day of summer either.  To me, it was a pretty significant milestone.  I was so proud of all they accomplished this school year.  I was astonished at the level of maturity they have gained.  I was in awe at the little people they have become, instead of just little kids.  Their first year of formal education is behind them.  For a naturally emotional person, this is a triple whammy.  If you are a parent, you understand that time goes by so quickly.  When you have three the same age, this seems to be even more true.  Where have these almost-6 years gone already?  I'm trying to savor each and every moment, but they are still going by so fast.  And sometimes the major milestones come at you three times as hard!  That's what hits me the most.

Well, the good news is what is truly difficult in my opinion isn't really a bad thing.  This is a natural part of parenthood and it just goes along with the territory.  I have four kids to love, and while I am sure I will find certain milestones harder emotionally than others, I am so incredibly grateful for every one.  The pregnancy was hard for sure, but you really can never know the full extent of what being a 'mom' will mean until it's a reality.  I'm sure parts of it are different for everyone.

So for this week at least, I'm sticking to it.  The hardest part so far is that triple whammy of emotions.  The littlest number four will be no different, I'm sure.  With her, she's growing up too fast trying to catch up to her siblings.  I guess I just have to make sure to enjoy every moment I have while it's here.  Time isn't going to stop for me, that's for sure.

If you are a parent, what's the hardest part for you?